TEACH YOUR CHILDREN WELL
James Meadows • June 28, 2017
As scientific knowledge increases and technology grows, people have had to adjust to the transitions. We had to adjust when we began driving cars a lot more than when we were riding horses. We had to adjust when the television replaced the radio as the main entertainment/news device in the home. We had to adjust when the Internet replaced the once-a-day evening news cycle with a 24/7 news cycle. We had to adjust when personal electronic devices replaced time- and location-limited communication with instant-anywhere and asynchronous communication.
Many of these adjustments have been very positive, both in the intended benefits derived and even in the unintended consequences. However, while some of these adjustments have been very positive in the intended benefits derived, they have not necessarily always been positive in the unintended consequences. This is often the case with technological evolution.
One example of this is we as people sometimes struggle with managing social media. I see social media as a tremendously powerful, versatile tool. However, as with most things that are powerful and versatile, they can be managed wisely or unwisely. They can be used to help people or harm people. They can be used for good or evil. They can be used for self-improvement or self-destruction.
Granted, this is a massive topic, but I want to focus on just one main aspect of social media as it relates to children and young people. That aspect is personal development, especially as it applies to relationships. The time and attention that parents, guardians, schools, and mentors give to the personal development of children is incredibly important. This is true because we understand the potency of helping to build that future adult through that present child. William Wordsworth’s statement “the child is the father of the man” is no less intensely true today than it was two centuries ago. That is why with all social media’s excellent benefits, we simultaneously cannot afford to ignore its negative effects on our children.
Studies, reports, and anecdotes too numerous to name have overwhelmingly indicated these specific outcomes:
- Many young people are addicted to their personal devices due to the need to gain the emotional fix that a text or post provides.
- High social media activity among young people correlates with low self-esteem and depression. The constant comparison games it invokes always lead to the participant being the loser.
- Young people are so involved in their personal devices that they are lacking sufficient direct human interaction to develop their conversation and relationship skills.
- Young people would rather interact on social media than in person.
- Young people would rather text than talk. (It used to be that you might call someone on the phone to see about an in-person visit; now you text someone to see about a phone call.)
- Many young people routinely engage in family mealtimes in which every family member is only participating in their individual personal devices.
- Many young people have lost even the most basic spelling and grammar skills germane to more formal spoken and written communication.
We have been observing these outcomes since the advent of smartphones and social media. In some cases, we have responded intelligently and thoughtfully to help our children learn how to control social media rather than accepting the default position of letting social media control them (and us!).
The solution as I see it is not to run from the technology. That is impossible or at least highly unrealistic. Rather, we need to teach our children how to engage technology for all its excellent benefits while further teaching them how to engage people for all their superior benefits. This means setting the example rather than being the poor pathetic product of an increasingly dehumanized technological society.
The mission is vast and it is not one to be won overnight. Lord knows, every child is different (and difficult) in their own special way. However, the solution is not to give up but to remain watchful for every opportunity to model and mentor.
Only when children recognize someone else leading in a better way might they be inspired to pursue the same. That is a calling invested into you and me every day of our lives. And I conclude it is a calling always worth pursuing because the payoff is profound.
The earliest days of this series present fundamentally significant leadership content.
We explore the overuse or inappropriate use of the words "honest," "honesty," and "honestly." Much of the overuse or inappropriate use of these words is in contexts that intrinsically message the audience that the speaker is not trustworthy. I call the overuse or inappropriate use of these words in this context HONESTY VALIDATORS because the speaker believes they validate the truth being spoken. We need a solution to this problem. My solution is to replace these honesty validators with CLARITY VALIDATORS. Instead of trying to be honest, try to be clear. Replacing "honest," "honesty," and "honestly," with "clear," "clarity," and "clearly," produces significantly more benefit to the speaker and to the audience.
What the Boeing 737 Max crashes teach us about training, corporate culture, and communication.
Although anyone can and will criticize higher education, millennials are evidently smart enough to know its value. In spite of the horror stories about student loan debt, academic disasters, and wrong career turns, millennials have boasted one of the highest graduation rates of any generation to date. Generation Z may soon surpass them too as Laura A. Scione, managing editor of eCampus News reports : “ Despite growing questions around the value of college and return on investment in tuition, just 25 percent of Generation Z students say they believe they can have a rewarding career without going to college, compared to 40 percent of millennials. Eighty percent of Generation Z respondents and 74 percent of millennials agree that college either has a fair amount of value, is a good value, or is an excellent value. Only 20 percent of Generation Z students and 26 percent of millennials said college has ‘little value’ or ‘no value at all.’ ” Good for them! The statistics remain on their side—and the side of anyone who pursues higher education. Anthony P. Carnevale is the director of the Georgetown University Center on Education and the Workforce. Based on his research, that trend will only continue (Gillian B. White “Those Savvy Millennials” The Atlantic , May 2015, p. 38): " In 1973, 32% of jobs did not even require a high school diploma, 9% required a bachelor’s degree, and 7% required a master’s degree or higher. It is projected that by 2020, 12% of jobs will not require a high school diploma, 24% will require a bachelor’s degree, and 11% will require a master’s degree or higher. " Derek Newton wrote an article entitled “Please Stop Asking Whether College Is Worth It” in which his opening declaration gets right to the point: “ Colleges and universities are still the best, most direct path to a good career that pays well. ” In addition to those insights, the unemployment figures consistently reveal the enduring value of higher education. The seasonally adjusted July 2019 unemployment rate for persons not having a high school diploma is 5.1% ( Bureau of Labor Statistics ). Having a high school diploma drops that rate to 3.6% and some college or a two-year degree drops it further to 3.2%. Pretty good trending, would you agree? Finally, if we look at people having a four-year degree, a graduate degree, or a doctoral degree, the unemployment rate is a low 2.2%. Higher education’s edge is especially clear when you consider the range of these numbers over the education level. Look at the two ends of the spectrum: less-than-high school (5.1%) versus a four-year degree or higher (2.2%). Consistently, regardless of the measured time, the unemployment rate for a less-than-high-school-educated worker is two to four times larger than for the college-degreed worker. This is why, when people seek my counsel about career planning, higher education remains one of my most significant emphases. Education pays. Degrees still rock. Regardless of how good or bad the economy is, regardless of how many individual academic and career disasters can be cited, and regardless of how loudly the antidegree crowd howls, you are still in a better position having a degree than not having a degree. The good news for the millennials and Generation Z is that they have arrived at the same conclusion and now they will enjoy the benefits.
A few months ago, US News reported on the academic admissions scandal, Operation Varsity Blues : " The case—the largest college admission scam ever prosecuted by the Department of Justice—exposes a long-running racketeering scheme dating back to 2011, in which parents paid an admissions consultant a combined $25 million to help students cheat on college entrance exams and to get them into elite colleges and universities as recruited athletes when in reality they were not athletes. ” This was a profoundly disappointing situation that displays the worst of our human failure on many levels. In addition to its magnitude, this particular scam especially grabbed my attention due to its higher-education context. It occurs within the confluence of many deeply significant factors: Mentoring developing young adults. Student life transitions including high school to college, and college to the professional world. Parental ethics and leadership. Student accountability and fairness. Respect for the processes and institutions of higher education. The responsibilities that are intrinsic to power and privilege. Personal character and integrity. Student character and integrity. Parental character and integrity. Professional character and integrity. Societal and academic implications. These are weighty matters that should give us all cause for concern. Specifically, they should remind us of six essential ethical realities: 1—Power and privilege do not equal immunity. Whether in the Spider-Man world (“with great power comes great responsibility”) or in sacred writings (“to whom much is given, much is required”), we understand that large influence travels with commensurate accountability. Just because a parent might hold a position of influence, have a prominent name, or possess significant fiscal assets does not mean the law of the land and academic admissions policies do not apply. Many benefits come with position, name, and assets—immunity from the law and organizational policies should not be among them. 2—Bad outcomes can manifest from an apparent good heart. A pure heart never guarantees a noble outcome. That is because all of us are subject to change and sometimes that change equals corruption. A parent of a one-month-old child might begin with a pure heart that leads to noble outcomes. However, fast forward that same parent 17 years and now vicariously experiencing that child’s college admissions stress. Do we have an outcome guarantee? Of course, it depends on the parent. Many noble outcomes ensue, but many does not equal all. Some parents in their quest to provide the best for their child will succumb to the temptation to step outside proper boundaries. Doing so is seemingly justified by that apparent good heart: “ I’m doing this because I want to give my child the best. ” Although we can all to some extent understand this sentiment, it in no way excuses or justifies the unethical actions and outcomes. If anything, it reinforces how vulnerable we all are. Therein lies the need for a constant ethical scrutiny over ourselves and our communities. 3—Unethical practices to gain entry into an ethical institution fundamentally disqualify the candidate. On the most basic sensible and philosophical level, by definition any ethical institution must deny any candidate entry when that entry attempt was unethically based. Any other action makes a mockery of the ethical institution and its entry process. Our academic institutions are among the tallest pillars of our humanity. The fundamental preservation of their purity must remain a constant commitment by every human being directly or indirectly connected to them. 4—Falsifying your child's profile only immerses that child into a universe that is fundamentally and unfairly built on false pretenses. When we enter into a new universe by virtue of truth and integrity, we do the best service to ourselves and others. To enter into a new universe not arrived at via truth and integrity will degrade and undermine all aspects of that new universe both for ourselves and others. Going into a new universe is something that the student should want to do by being his or her authentic best person. You cannot be your authentic best person without first being that person. In being that person, you then genuinely display that person. Therefore, no one can be that best person without truth and integrity. 5—Secretly shielding your child from the consequences of that child's behavior, aptitudes, and performance vehemently disrespects that child's personhood, and this is an abuse of your parenthood. Parenthood is an extremely personal, overwhelming, grave, complicated, rewarding, painful, amazing, and beautiful role. However, none of those adjectives imply that the parent owns that child. Nothing could be further from the truth. Indeed, the child is “on loan” to the parent for a limited time, during which the parent has a stewardship responsibility. An intrinsic stewardship component of parenthood is releasing that child from your tutelage. That releasing process begins the moment the child is born and slowly continues for nearly two decades (in most cases). Although parents may struggle to varying degrees with the releasing process, each parent generally embraces the releasing process out of a respect for the child’s personhood. Fundamentally, the best action a parent can take is to respect the child’s personhood; the worst action a parent can take is to disrespect the child’s personhood. When you send your child out into the real world, anything that you directly or indirectly do to disrespect that child’s personhood does that child no favors. Rather, it does that child an inexcusable disfavor. 6—The university should be the grooming and proving ground for the professional world. From the student’s first connection to the college, the grooming and proving ground springs into action. If the student takes this opportunity seriously, then the stage is set for an ongoing personal and professional growth experience hosted by that college. It is an extremely significant academic development opportunity while simultaneously presenting somewhat of a preface to the yet-to-come extremely significant professional development opportunity that more fully continues postgraduation. Lifelong patterns embed themselves into how that student executes personal and professional growth. That total process deserves and demands nothing less than a student’s pure authentic personal and professional investment. Polluting any aspect of that process by deceptive practices is reprehensible. CONCLUSION Navigating higher education was never intended to be a walk in the park. Young people and their parents must understand this. However, by embracing these six ethical realities, we will navigate higher education with virtue, class, and character—and those are the inner assets of the soul that no academic credential can provide.
In an unprecedented breakthrough decision today, over 177,000 crash test dummies were given final approval by federal labor regulators to form the Crash Test Dummies of America labor union (CTDA). The CTDA plans to fight for crash test dummies’ working conditions and fair treatment. According to the CTDA union organizers, Anita Karr, Moe Mentum, and Cole Lijjun, their top priorities are: Limiting the quantity and types of crash tests per week. Strengthening torso, limb, and head replacement parts entitlements. Adopting a more compassionate approach to crash test dummy recycling. Improving the pay scale by replacing Monopoly money with real cash. The PETCTD (People for the Ethical Treatment of Crash Test Dummies) has endorsed the new labor union. PETCTD president Banng M. Hardar commented: “Being a crash test dummy is not an easy job. Most people could not handle the working conditions. We are very gratified that crash test dummies have taken a major step forward to receive the same wages, benefits, and equal treatment under the law that human workers take for granted.” The CTDA is in negotiations with various networks to launch a reality TV series to draw attention to the longstanding difficulties of being a crash test dummy. The title of the pending series is “Crashing Bad.” The CTDA plans additional kickoff events later this year. The union has already created its slogan: “When it comes to workers’ rights, we are not dummies!”
Ethical questions are often easy to address. However, sometimes ethical quandaries can be overwhelming. In some situations, no easy answers exist and you are forced to select the best possible option from among several poor options. Regardless of the depth of the ethical quandary, I have found that certain guiding questions can help to elucidate the decision process. While I make no claims at being an expert, I humbly offer these for your consideration. When I face a tough ethical decision, these are the questions that have helped me the most: Will my decision create any ethical dilemmas, and if so, have I arrived at the best option among several less-than-ideal options? Is there any opportunity to renegotiate with involved parties to resolve the ethical difficulties? Is there a creative decision that I have not yet identified that would shed new light on the situation, thereby resolving the ethical dilemma? Is there a way to reframe the problem so that the ethical concerns are satisfied while moving all parties forward? Will my decision enhance my organization’s brand and reputation? Will my decision enhance my brand and reputation? Will my decision allow me to preserve my spiritual or religious convictions? How would I view my decision 20 years from today? How would others view my decision 20 years from today? How would my significant other or my children view my decision 20 years from today? Will my decision allow me to preserve my personal integrity? Will my decision allow me to preserve my professional integrity? Will my decision allow me to preserve my prior commitments to people and organizations? Will my decision respect the rights, privileges, and preferences of the people involved? Will my decision create the highest probability to do the most good for the most people over the long run?